In an article in The Lancet, Dr. Arthur Kleinman wrote about the care of memories following the loss of someone for whom we have given care. He spoke from experience as he had cared for his wife of many years who had early onset Alzheimer’s disease.
He noted when a memory came to him, a story came along with it. This is the story of our lives as caregivers.
We then retell stories both funny and tragic in our experiences of giving care.
It is real work to care for memories, but the results reaffirm the meaningful times of our lives.
Remembering is a continuation of the caregiving we gave when loved ones were alive. Even bereavement is caregiving. Seen this way, caregiving becomes the “glue of life” holding relationships together and then helping us care for ourselves.
Don’t avoid the memories. Let them inform your present. Treasure them as the bank of experience caregiving always is. Sometimes it is wonderful. Sometimes difficult. But it is valuable both today and tomorrow.
“Caring for Memories”, by Arthur Kleinman
Harvard University Asia Centre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA, USA; and Departments of Anthropology and Global Health and Social Medicine, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA 02138, USA kleinman@fas.harvard.edu